Well, I'm almost a week into the wait and planning to test on Friday. Starting to get to the point where I search for symptoms.
So far, not much. Had very light cramping two nights ago (seems too early to be implantation cramping so I'm guessing it was the progesterone). Sore boobs = progesterone. Had to pee a lot yesterday but I drank a ton of water because I was super thirsty (progesterone?).
I had a dream night before last that I took an HPT and it was positive. My husband started to get excited and then I told him it was only the HCG shot. Weird. I wish I could dream about a baby, but those dreams are extremely rare for me. Maybe that's for the better.
I've decided to tell my boss on Monday about what's going on. I already told human resources a couple weeks ago. He seems to think I'm "not engaged" and he's not sure how committed to the job I am. I am hoping if I make it clear that I am going through IF treatments and these take a lot out of me physically and emotionally that maybe he will understand it's not that I don't care about my job but that I have a medical issue that I have to deal with at this time. Trying to hold on to the job as long as possible since it's what makes the IF treatment financially possible. And my RE has pretty much told me that since the endo will grow back over time, I need to take advantage of the six months post-surgery that I am at the most fertile I will likely be for the rest of my life. Age + endo = not so fertile. The longer I wait, the less likely it is that I will be able to have biological children.
It is incredibly hard to maintain a demanding job while doing fertility treatment. My RE is 40 minutes north of my house and my work is 45 minutes south. So when I have an appointment or bloodwork, by the time I get to work I've already been driving and being injected/ultrasounded/whatever for two+ hours. Add in the drugs, which cause fatigue, dizzyness, headaches, back pain, etc., and the day to day of working long hours can be almost impossible. For instance, my boss said he wanted to see me in the office until 8 p.m. and working on weekends to show my dedication. Well I am on progesterone supplements. TMI WARNING I take my morning dose vaginally so that I can go to work without major side effects. I have to take my evening dose precisely at 7:30. Taking this vaginally is gross - it means I have to wear a panty liner all day as gunk leaks out and I feel constantly squishy. So, as recommended by my nurse, I take the pill orally at night to give myself a break. After taking the pill, I have side effects. Dizzyness, tiredness, NyQuil-like feelings. I would not want to drive after taking it for at least a couple hours, not to mention it kind of puts me to sleep. So I can't take it orally at work. And I really don't want to go into the work bathroom to give myself a vaginal suppository. I could if I had to but I REALLY REALLY don't want to.
The moral of the story? Progesterone sucks. Bosses who don't understand suck. Infertility sucks. And I'm a whiner today. Sorry about that - will try to be more positive in my next blog!
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