Monday, March 25, 2013

A little bit pregnant

They say you can't be a little bit pregnant.

I am.

My hcg today came back at 22.  Not good.

It's pretty low - the average for 14dpo is 48.  But it's not impossible that this will still turn into a viable pregnancy.  I am still pregnant, just not sure for how long.

I was in shock and unhappy with the number when the nurse called.  She seemed unfazed and said it was a start and we would have to see what the number is on Wednesday when I have bloodwork again.  She also said congratulations.  

So this is beta hell.  I am praying so hard for God to strengthen the little embryo (hopefully) in my uterus.  

Grow, little one, grow!

Need it to double or greater by Wednesday - otherwise I don't think there's much hope for the pregnancy.

DH tells me to be positive - he is still sure things will work out.  But I'm so scared.  I finally - finally - got pregnant and now it might be an even bigger disappointment than those many months where nothing happened at all.  

I also don't want this news at work.  Thinking about working from home on Wednesday so that if it is bad news I can deal with it in private.

For today I am pregnant and trying to stay positive.  Lots of cramping going on and I'm going to pretend it's caused by little baby bean setting up shop in there.

1 comment:

  1. I've never had a beta or a positive test, so I can only imagine, but this does sound stressful. But, your nurse is right, it's a start. Hoping for properly rising numbers on Wednesday!

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