Tuesday, August 6, 2013

I Hate Birth Control Pills

I know it's standard to take birth control pills for IVF.  I started mine a week and a half ago.  And I hate it.  It's so ironic that I have to take the anti-baby pill in my quest to have a baby.  The last thing I want to do is prevent pregnancy!  I know this is just the first step and what is to come will probably suck even worse but right now when I take the pill every day I cringe.  It just reminds me that we are on the last resort.  The last chance (for a bio baby at least).  And I know if it doesn't work (please let it work) we will pick up and move on and if we end up adopting we will love our child no less.  It just feels final.  We're betting it all on one turn of the cards and I am a very risk averse person so it goes against my grain in a big way.

On the other hand, I now have a job when we get back.  A job with decent, if not great, pay. A job I am excited about.  And maybe we can do IVF again if it doesn't work because we both have jobs and we are saving money by going to the Czech Republic for it.

My husband started a blog to detail our travels for IVF.  I would link to it but it would totally compromise my anonymity (he did it under his name and uses my name as well) and since I've said a lot here I don't necessarily want the world to know (especially certain family members), I'll refrain.  He says he finds it theraputic and it allows our family to follow us on this journey.

Heading over to acupunture today.  Still don't know if it really works but we're throwing everything at this attempt so I'll keep going.

We finally booked our flights!  We are flying into Prague on August 28 and coming back to the US on September 18.  Hopefully with the best souvenir(s) ever!  T-22 days until we leave!  My emotions are all over the place, from excitement and hopeful joy to fear and anxiety.

Until then I will keep on keeping on and post more!


  1. I just wrote an ebook called "Shooting Blanks: a husbands perspective on missing the mark and dealing with infertility" and was wondering if you would be interested in reviewing it for your blog or if you would like me to write a guest post. Either way I'd be happy to send you a free copy to read.



    1. I would be happy to review it on the blog - it will just have to wait until I return to the States mid-September!