Going Public

I'm pretty open about our IF.  My husband even more so.  And without asking me, although I'm ok with it anyways.  It's led to some good things such as his work being INCREDIBLY supportive of our IVF overseas plan to the point where his manager told him even if he had to take unpaid leave she would work it out.  And a co-worker scheduled to go on vacation around the time we have to go to Europe is willing to rearrange her time off to accommodate us.  I mean, wow.

So now he has decided - we - should write a blog detailing our trip to the Czech Republic as a guide/informative blog for those considering it as well as for a way for his family to follow our journey.  This is great, but I do already have my own blog.  So I will be linking to the posts on our shared blog once it's up and running as well as posting some stuff here too - the stuff I really don't want my family or his to know about.  The things that are the reason this blog remains anonymous at this point.  It may change in the future but really it's been my venting place - my way of just putting it out there.

Anyways, lately I've been tired.  Really tired.  I am taking a ton of supplements and eating more healthily so you would think I'd feel better (I've lost 5 pounds too!) but instead I feel lethargic.  I am trying to work out more (way more) but sometimes I really just want to sit on my couch and watch the marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which is incidentally on right now).  I know I'm now unemployed and my husband has be great telling me my job is just to be healthy and relaxed and I really want to give it my all so that IVF has the best chance of working but some days I just can't do it.

Today is one of those days.  I just can't bring myself to go get on the treadmill.  I need more motivation - you would think I would have all I need but today I just can't seem to do it.

Sometimes it just seems so unfair.  There are people out there who eat whatever crappy food they want, don't work out, get drunk and get pregnant.  And so many terrible parents out there.  Yet I have great test results, eat healthy, do everything I can to get pregnant and nothing.  Ugh.