Wavering

So yesterday I was completely sure we were going to go to the Czech republic to do IVF.  Now I'm kind of freaked out by the idea of getting such expensive serious medical care abroad and care when I get back and travel details, etc.  So DH and I will discuss it this weekend and make a final decision.  We really want to move forward ASAP so no time to dilly dally over the choice.

Pros of going to Czech Republic

• Cheaper!!!  (it's about $5200 for IVF with ICSI, embryo monitoring, and meds)
• Visit a new country (even if I'll feel like crap most of the time)
• Decent success rate (clinic said 60% for women under 40 although I'm slightly uncomfortable with the fact that I'm lumped in with all the 20-somethings - would rather know the success rates for women 35-40 or something like that)
• They have the embryo monitoring that is considered very cutting edge and not used at most clinics in the US
• Reviews say clinic is clean and professional and very up to date
• Did I mention CHEAPER?!? Even including travel, lodging, etc we're looking at $10-12k as opposed to $14-20k here.

Cons

• My doctor says they pretty much consider you done when you leave after IVF and he doesn't want to be responsible for my care until the end of the first trimester (which is when IVF patients go back to their normal ob/gyn)
• Time off work for DH
• Medical care in another country - a little scary?
• Pain in the butt to get the testing done I need before I can cycle with them

Too many decisions that need to be made in a short period of time.  I should have planned this all out in advance but felt like doing too much towards IVF would be negative towards my IUIs.  

3rd time = not the charm

HPT = negative. RE sent me in for a blood test to verify before going off progesterone.  Also negative.

And I lost my job.  Too much time off for fertility treatments.

So this has not been a great couple of weeks for us.

However, the silver lining has been my husband.  He has been AMAZING.  Supportive, loving, and just amazing.

When I lost my job he immediately looked on the bright side and said now we have time for IVF.  And now he's engaged in planning our IVF treatment.  I don't know how I got so lucky.  Sometimes I feel like marrying me was unfair for him - he's only 30 and his sperm are fantastic and he's stuck with a 37 year old wife who can't get pregnant.

Oh yeah, and I turned 37 in the last 2 weeks.  It's been just freaking fantastic.

So anyways we are moving on to IVF (obviously).  We agreed before we even started IUI that it was three strikes and we're out.

The somewhat exciting part of it is we've decided to do IVF overseas.  I will definitely post more about that soon.  And this time I should be able keep my promise to update more frequently since I don't have a job.

I will post an entire blog on how we came to the decision and how we picked a clinic tomorrow.  For tonight I'll just say this - my husband is awesome.  My job for the next couple months is to be healthy (new diet I'll post about later too) and prepare for IVF.

More tomorrow - for real this time!

3rd time's the charm?

Well we are on to our 3rd IUI.  Added two extra menopur shots and going for an ultrasound tomorrow.  It's only CD9 but I had a "cyst" that the RE wanted to make sure was not an active follicle so we're checking early.

I was trying to remember how many needle sticks I have endured so far in my quest to have a baby.
2 progesterone tests
3 pre-op blood draws
4 HCG draws
4 menopur shots (so far - have one more scheduled tomorrow)
2 HCG shots (with one to go this cycle)
1 IV - during surgery

Tonight my ovaries hurt and my head hurts and I'm tired as hell.

Had a massage yesterday.  Here are some samples of things my massage therapist said (after asking if my husband and I were trying to have kids):
"What a fun mission you are on!"
Yes, it's really fun to have the nurse dig around in me with the speculum trying to find my cervix to do an insemination.  And the ultrasound wand - what fun!
"I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 4 months along!"
Uh...great.  I have tracked my temperature and peed on so many sticks I couldn't count them if I wanted to and you couldn't figure out you were pregnant until almost halfway through.
"You're going to have like 5 or 6 kids!"
Yeah, just one would be nice.  It's already taken a lot and I don't have one so please don't talk about 5 or 6.
And my favorite...
"Have you and your husband thought about baby names?"
We've been thinking about babies and baby names and conceiving and pregnancy for 21 months so yes, we have thought about names and  no, I don't really want to talk about the names for my possible baby that may or may not happen in the near future.

So that's my week so far.  Really hoping for a good ultrasound tomorrow!